“The Amazing Goliaths” c. 2005?

MOVIE TRAILER GUY (V.O.)
They were the team everyone thought had a chance, but they were right- this Summer, get ready for the Amazing Goliaths!

INT. FOOTBALL LOCKER ROOM

A COACH is giving a pre-game pep talk to his football TEAM.

COACH
OK, men, listen up! Today is the most important game of your lives- the state championship!

PLAYER #1
But coach, this stadium is so different from our home field!

COACH
I know, Travis. But we’re still the same team. Sure, their field may have 3500 crappy bleacher seats- it’s nothing like our 60,000 seat NFL-quality stadium at home. And the team we’re facing tonight, they train on rusty weights in an old barn- not like our multimillion dollar state-of-the-art training facility. Now they may call me crazy, but I still think we have a chance to win this game. Because at the end of the day, they may have more hustle, and heart, and good old fashioned gumption than us, but we’ve got something you can’t measure- superior athletic ability! Goliaths on three!

The team all put their hands in:

TEAM
ONE TWO THREE GOLIATHS!!

Team exits, pumped up, then re-enters.

COACH
Alright, men, it’s halftime! Now I know things look bad- we’ve only got a 41 point lead. Now I want to tell you men a little story. It’s about a kid named Randy. They told Randy he was too small to play football. And he was born with Mulitple Scelorsis, and only one limb. Randy doesn’t have long to live, in fact he’s probably going to die right after the game tonight. All Randy ever wanted was to just carry the ball in a real football game. His story is an inspiration to us all. Randy plays for the other team, so Brent-

He points to BRENT, the biggest, meanest player on the team.

COACH
-when Randy gets the ball, I want you to knock the living crap out of him. It’s not going to be easy, but I think you can do it!

BRENT
OK, coach!

The team all put their hands in:

TEAM
ONE TWO THREE GOLIATHS!!

They exit for the second half, then return, having won the game.

COACH
OK, team, huddle up! Now we were facing some real challenges tonight, but we stuck together, and we won the game by 120 points!

The team cheer and high-five each other.

COACH
(getting serious)
Men, I want to tell you something- this is a great victory, but I could have done it without each of you- football is an individual game, and together as a team, we’re much weaker than we are as individuals! One day, men, when you’re old and about to die, you’ll look back and realize how pointless this experience really was- but know this- however pointless it was to you men, it was more pointless to me. We may have started out as a family, but you’ve all become like a football team to me.

The team all put their hands in:

TEAM
ONE TWO THREE GOLIATHS!!

They start to carry the coach off on their shoulders, then think “ah, the hell with it” and walk off in opposite directions.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s