“Hulk Write Sketch!”

If you have been in a comedy writing class in the last ten years or so, you will probably appreciate this one.

– – – – – –

CLASSROOM

A WRITING TEACHER enters.

TEACHER
Good morning, class, and welcome to
sketch writing, level one. Let’s
get to know each other.

STUDENT #1
My name’s Travis, and I’m a
screenwriter, I just moved here
from Iowa.

STUDENT #2
I’m Jonathan, I’m an actor.

The third student is the HULK.

TEACHER
And how about you, the giant green
man with the ripped pants?

HULK
Me Hulk! Hulk write good sketch!
Audience laugh!

TEACHER
OK, Hulk, what’s your idea?

HULK
Hulk write sketch about
Superfriends! Always get big
laughs! Hulk sketch kill!

STUDENT #1
A Justice League sketch? Jesus,
that’s been done to death by every
sketch show in town!

STUDENT #2
Yeah, I’m sorry Hulk, but it is a
bit cliched.

Hulk is furious.

HULK
What?! You no call Hulk’s idea
cliched! HULK SMASH!

He stands up and knocks over some chairs.

TEACHER
Now now, Hulk, just settle down.
Maybe you need to work with a
writing partner to help refine your
ideas.

AQUAMAN enters and shakes Hulk’s hand.

AQUAMAN
Hey, I’ve got some great ideas.
What if I, Aquaman, got involved in
some kind of humorous situation
based on the idea that my
superpower, summoning and
controlling aquatic lifeforms, is
rather insignificant and silly
compared to the powers of, say,
Superman?

HULK
Hulk love! Hulk smell staff job on
“According to Jim!”

STUDENT #1
But that’s even more cliched than
your first idea!

STUDENT #2
As a true artist, I find this
degrading and a waste of my t-

Hulk smashes both students knocking them off the stage.

The teacher shakes his head.

TEACHER
I’m sorry, Hulk, Aquaman. I just
can’t have you smashing students in
my class. I’m going to have to fail
you bo-

A giant Squid tentacle reaches on stage and drags the teacher to his doom.

TEACHER
AGGHH! A GIANT SQUID!

Hulk and Aquaman shake hands at center stage.

BLACKOUT